Talk to the Lord: Making Prayer Intimate, Conversational, and Fervent

Let's cut to the chase: prayer is often difficult for me. It's not that I don't want to talk to the Lord; it's that I'm just not very good at it. Part of that conclusion is a result of self-imposed criteria for a "good" prayer that has no Scriptural backing. Indeed, when Christ taught His disciples a model prayer in Matthew 6: 9-13, it is a simple and direct 66 word prayer. Surely I can muster that?

And yet I still struggle. I find myself wandering and repetitive and self-conscious (the last of which is certainly a problem in prayer!). I was talking at God with a list of intercessions and requests, but I wasn't really talking to Him. It finally occurred to me what my problem is. I suspect it is a problem for many Christians. Can you guess what it is?

Real prayer is work.

It requires very little from us to approach the Lord with a wish-list, toss in a few complaints, a handful of thank-yous, and a trite bit of praise. But real prayer - the effectual fervent prayer spoken of in James 5:16 requires concentrated effort:

The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Did you notice the words fervent (which means "intense") and availeth (which means "help" or "benefit")? Doing something so intensely that it helps or benefits is going to require some good ol' fashioned "elbow grease." And that notion is not unique to James 5:16. Consider these other verses on prayer (emphasis added):

Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ, saluteth you, always labouring fervently for you in prayers, that ye may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God.

Colossians 4:12

Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

Ephesians 6:18

Now I beseech you, brethren, for the Lord Jesus Christ's sake, and for the love of the Spirit, that ye strive together with me in your prayers to God for me;

Romans 15:30

And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.

Luke 22:44

Look at those underlined words that illustrate prayer. When was the last time we fervently and earnestly labored, persevered, strove, and sweat in prayer - and maintained the effort always? There's no room for laziness and minimal effort in that. Clearly we've got some things to sort out with our prayer habits.

Incomplete Solutions

You've probably seen different helpful ideas on this subject, like the A.C.T.S. acronym (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication), which is excellent and easy-to-remember, but it never quite accomplished the sort of prayer life I desired, and certainly not the kind described in the verses above. I had also seen a few spiral-bound notebooks with series of boxes to fill out, but they always felt like I was doing a school workbook rather than praying with the Lord.

I had great success with a prayer notebook (explained in this post) for a long time, but eventually I hit a wall with it. I still advocate using a prayer notebook, but for me it eventually became a stale ritual to go through its pages day after day. The notebook is good, but on its own it is not enough.

And so, in my fumbling sort of way in prayer, I asked God to help me think through a solution to the problem. I needed something that gave structure and substance to my prayers, like the prayer notebook, but also encouraged thoughtfulness and genuine interaction with the Lord about the here and now. In other words, I wanted to be intimate and conversational in prayer rather than rote and rigid. If I was going to pray more fervently, it needed to feel genuine - like it mattered - rather than just another box to check among daily disciplines.

Talk to the Lord: A Flexible Pattern for Prayer

After quite some time, and some faltering first attempts, I created the following based on what I have learned about prayer from Scripture and from experience. So far, it has been extraordinarily helpful for me, improving the quality of my prayer time in noticeable ways. Here's the pattern, which as you'll see is meant to be flexible:

DOCTRINE & WORSHIP

• Based on Psalm 29:2, Psalm 96:9, and Deuteronomy 32:2

• Things about God I appreciate, respect, admire, and/or now understand

CONFESSION & REPROOF

• Based on I John 1:9 and II Timothy 3:16

• Things I need to forsake or change - and why

CORRECTION

• Based on II Timothy 3:16

• Things I don't understand about God, His word, or life circumstances for which I need proper attitude and perspective

THANKS

• Based on Philippians 4:6 and Colossians 4:2

• Daily provision, enjoyments, answered and "unanswered" prayers, things I have been spared from

COUNSEL

• Based on Proverbs 8:14, Proverbs 12:15, and Acts 20:27

• Guidance for necessary actions and choices

CASTING CARES

• Based on 1 Peter 5:7

• Things I need to leave with the Lord because they cause me worry or fear

SUPPLICATION

• Based on I Timothy 2:1, Philippians 4:6, and Ephesians 6:18

• The needs of others, and/or things I would like for them (spiritual and temporal)

NEEDS & DESIRES

• Based on I Peter 5:7, I Peter 2:2, I Timothy 3:1, and Philippians 1:23-24

• Things I would like for myself (which is usually a small, humble list after having prayed about each of the areas above)

What has allowed this to work really well for me is that is keeps me focused and adds structure to my prayers, also prompting me to address things in a orderly way, but also gives me some loose, flexible guidance for what to pray about each step along the way.

Since I’ve been doing this, approaching prayer seems less daunting and more meaningful. Although I’m following a structure, each prayer seems distinct and unique from each other - a true conversation rather than a list. A reflection that leads to genuine heartfelt prayer rather than “Dear Lord, I lift up to you _____, who needs ____. And please do _____ for blank. And _____ has been dealing with ______, please help.”

Is this the final iteration? Probably not. Like the prayer notebook, which was an incremental improvement, the pattern listed about is just evidence of growth. It is where I'm at right now. And as the Lord continues to teach me and I slowly mature, I'm sure new hindrances will arise in my flesh, new understandings of prayer will develop, and new habits will result.

I hope this benefits you as it does me. Maybe you're already way past where I'm at, in which case I say "Bravo!" But wherever you are, let's all agree on one thing: we're not there yet, so press on toward the goal! Make an effort to spend some time in effectual, fervent prayer today!